Life's road has it's bumps and blind corners. And even if at first appearance, the road is beautiful, there is always the next bend. As life drivers, we must expect mishaps and the unexpected. While I have no intentions to quit driving, I've got to remember, who ultimately is the one in control. Who is the maker of this vehicle I'm driving? God is. He's always with me, carrying me, sitting beside me, and sometimes He takes the wheel, whether I insist or not. Who do you ultimately want to drive you around?
It's so easy to forget that I am not in control. It's one of my continuous battles. I believe, for some, this isn't as hard of a task as it has been for me. "Handing it over" to God or someone else isn't my repoirtoire. I'm not comfortable with someone else "doing it" for me. I fight my pride and the empowerment in taking ownership when I accomplish something. Heck, I fight the urge to take over what should be fun projects with my own kids. But, when confronted with the concept that I can do everything...?! Well, I feel just plain ridiculous.
I've been asked recently if I believed God could change my daughter's lifestyle. And despite the obvious immediate answer, I was struck at how my head stuggled to absorb the truth of it. I think the control tendency in me handicapped me for a moment. I had to trust that if it's God's will, it will happen. That meant I had to let go. I could continue to pray and hope, but God ultimately is the decider, the doer. The power of faith. The power of God. It sounds so cliche', but I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Such a simple idea, but if I invest my heart into believing what God can do, I'm not as preoccupied with what I can't do. My heart feels so much lighter just thinking about it.
Even if one might suggest advice, or an opposing direction, one thing I know for sure is to turn directly to God for council. And if I'm still not sure about what I should do, I need to take a look at my Trust in God inventory. Have I surrendered my doubts and my fears, to Him? What a sweet trusting act to give my insecurities to God. And what a sweet gift He gives to me in return. Solace in my faith.
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