Mounting anger

We've all "lost it" at one time or another. Patience seems to swell and then bursts at a heightened state. I've watched people often possess this unfailing determination to keep their anger under control. And yet there are others who blow up at the slightest build up. So, where do I fit in? Believe me this is one subject I've analyzed time and time again about myself. Having been (and who I'd like to describe myself as being now) a very mild mannered person whom had been trodded on many of occasions. I've become convinced I have a lot of tolerance but not a lot of patience. Unfortunately, I tend to let things slide for awhile and reveal my disappovement when most people's defenses are down. Then BOOM I take all by surprise sometimes even myself! I guess it's my own way of standing up for who I used to be. How do we distinguish what we can justify and catagorize as regret?

Patience and tolerance.....What's the difference? Maybe there is no significant difference. I'd like to think that tolerance is easier to practice. Tolerating your environment, and people's actions. But, patience seems to require more of a personal approach. Risking emotions and playing the odds of an un-anticipated possiblity of a disappointment. I fear for myself that more things in my life will require more patience than tolerance. For if we apply patience and wait - things may work out, people come to their senses, the bad times pass...

However, I'd like to think that mounting anger results in the drive of a powerful act. A building mountain that forms into a volcano. And if we manage it well and use it in a controlled manner things get done. Points get across. And we no longer carry that growing fire that eats us up inside.

And then there are those (myself included) that lose it, hair frizzled, thier spit flying, eyes dialated, throwing in some unnecessary language, and end up sputtering until thier lips are dry. But, hey at least they don't have to carry a hot head anymore and whoever made them upset will think twice NEXT time. Justifiable? Regrets? We usually don't find out until after the explosion.